How to Get Over Your Social Anxiety When Meeting New People
I don’t know about you all but I am the type of person who feels like my true, authentic self when I am with my core group of friends. I am not scared to giggle obnoxiously, tell stories, disagree with someone and I am definitely not worried about feeling stupid. None of my core friends would ever make me feel stupid! I used to feel a little different around people I may not know as well or when meeting people for the first time. I would hide behind a wall of shyness, fearful of saying anything at all. I would have knots in my stomach and tingling in my throat. Social anxiety manifests itself so differently for each individual and can be crippling for some.
Have you ever felt like a totally different version of yourself due to social anxiety? Have you ever left somewhere thinking, did I say something stupid or dang, I should have talked to that new person? We are our own toughest critics. Our thoughts run wild about how people perceive us but also about how we perceive ourselves. Have you ever thought about the fact that new people may be strangers to you but you are also a stranger to them? That person across the room from you may also be hiding in their shell, feeling the same social anxiety. Even the most outspoken and seemingly outgoing person in the room could possibly be projecting their anxiety. Again, social anxiety can present itself in so many different ways.
Here are some tips to overcoming social anxiety around new people:
Meet new people with your best friend by your side. This may help to ease your anxiety and allow for your authentic self to shine through a bit more. Some people may see this as I crutch, but I see it as comfort.
Reassure yourself that the people you are meeting may feel a similar way to you and may also feel anxious in new social situations. Remember that just because someone is talkative and outgoing, doesn’t mean they aren’t shaking on the inside.
We can not be a perfect friendship match with everyone we come across. I think it is best to be your truest, most authentic self and find that out from the start. Imagine always trying to be someone you are not to fit in with other people. We would have a million different personalities.
When you start feeling socially anxious, take a bathroom break, breathe, look in the mirror and put your hand over your beating heart. That’s where you will find your confidence.
Notice these tips are mostly about mindset rather than behavior. A shift in perspective will directly impact our behavior as well as our mental health. Realizing that we are not alone and empathizing with people around us, can actually reduce our own anxiety.
With love,
Chloe Milani, LCSW
“Believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic.” -- Brene Brown