Societal Expectations and Uncertainty
We live in a society where we are expected to fit into specific titanium boxes based on our age, sex, skin color, economic status, interests, occupations, etc. At the very same time, is your inner guide telling you to break free and get outside the box? We often have deep rooted desires to pursue more, explore, take another direction, connect with people in other boxes, ignore the rules and “live life to the fullest.” We always hear phrases like that. YOLO. LIFE’S TOO SHORT. CARPE DIEM. On one hand we are expected to meet strict standards that have been socially constructed and labeled as the “norm.” On the other hand, we feel encouraged to create unique goals and to seek adventure, individuality and purpose beyond what society deems acceptable. HELLO UNCERTAINTY.
It is okay to feel uncertain. We usually feel some kind of uncertainty on the daily. We question small scale, day-to-day decisions. We also question our bigger picture beliefs-morals, ethics, identity, lifestyle, etc. This is usually because we are always comparing ourselves to the “norm.” Are we living in alignment of what is expected of us? Of course there are very important standards, laws and ethics set by society that we should always abide by. Without order, comes chaos. Undoubtedly. But are we wrong to feel like some of societies norms are not suitable for us? No. We have the ability to create a life and make decisions based on our individual needs, goals and desires.
There is always going to be a great deal of 'unknown in life that constantly generates feelings of uncertainty. It’s unavoidable. We cannot always predict future events and plans often go awry. But one thing we can do to help ease our minds when feeling uncertain is to think about physical measurements and ask ourselves, whose doctrine are we trying to measure up to? Are you feeling so uncertain because you are trying to measure up to societies’ labeled boxes? Try measuring up to your own morals, ethics, passions, goals and purposes that YOU have created and feel comfortable with. When we are trying to measure up to standards set by ourselves, uncertainty brings growth. When we are always trying to level up to the “norm,” uncertainty is often accompanied by other feelings like failure, incompetence and low self-esteem. That’s only because those norms may not serve you and you are unable to mold yourself to fit them. YOU DON’T HAVE TO!
Uncertainty does not have to be a negative thing. Not everything is black and white, good and bad. Some of the most important experiences in life are shaped by uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. Remember that you can change and evolve as much as you desire to throughout your lifetime. And when everything feels so uncertain remember that YOU are the only standard you need to level up to!
—Chloe Milani, LCSW